Honoring Our Heroes... Briar Phelka

From Briar's dad, Derek

Briar was a good person. The kind of person who when you met her for the first time, you just knew she was good. This was very evident based on the great friends she had throughout her life. She loved to laugh, her sarcastic sense of humor was fantastic and so addictive. A one liner from her favorite movies like Elf or Christmas Vacation would crack her up every single time to the point she'd have tears from laughing so hard.

Her family was the most important thing to her. She always made the effort to visit and spend time with her grandparents, her aunts and uncles and her little cousin. From jumping on the trampoline and swimming at grandma Donna's house to our Fourth of July picnics and Christmas Eve traditions, if we were all together, that's when she was the happiest.

She loved to read, everything from Harry Potter to Stephen King. Briar was also interested in travel. Her and her boyfriend Ryan loved to travel to different cities and visit the zoo. I know a bucket list item for them was to get to see the San Diego Zoo. This doesn't surprise me as she was a huge animal lover. Everything from goats to giraffes she fell in love with. Our two dogs, Ozzie and Chazz were her best friends whom she loved so passionately.

My family and I choose to honor her memory by talking about her, and remembering how brave, strong and generous she was. There was a time when talking about her was painful because it made me sad and miss her. But I'm learning and realizing that talking about her is incredibly important because it is deserved.

Briar saved lives with her generosity. And that warrants discussion and praise. Just like all of the other donors out there deserve the same recognition. And I'm so proud of her. In all honesty the word proud doesn't even scratch the surface. I actually find myself in awe of her generosity and concern for other people.

If you think about it, there isn't a bigger gift to offer than the one she and her fellow donors have given. When she got her driver's license, she couldn't wait to show my wife and I that she had signed up to be an organ donor. This is a kid. A kid who just gets it, and at that young of an age is already thinking of others. I find that to be remarkable. And now getting to have seen first hand what that actually means and can do, trust me when I say its a whole different level of pride and admiration.

When I meet people now and they talk about their kids or people in my life that are having kids, I always tell them to enjoy every minute. I was talking with someone in the airport last month while she was working. I asked how her day was going and she said she's exhausted from her early shift and then had to immediately take her son to football practice. She asked me if I had any kids and I told her about Briar. As our brief exchange ended, I told her to enjoy every minute because I would give absolutely anything to be heading to football practice. Or in my case helping dig her car out of the snow for the third time, or helping move in and out of dorms and apartments.

Initially it was easy to feel sad and cheated out of the time I didn't get to spend with her and all of the things I won't get to do with her. But when I look back, there are so many things I did get to do. I got to see her graduate high school. I got to teach her how to drive. I got to take her to vote for the first time, and see her go to the prom. There is so much to be thankful for.

In closing, I hope I have in some way conveyed what a remarkable young woman Briar Joelle Phelka was. We, her family and friends are so proud of her and we miss her terribly. I hope all of the other donor parents out there find the same comfort we do in knowing that our loved ones do live on via the gifts they have made. I hope you find the same level of pride that we do in belonging to this very special community. Lets be there for each other.

One Love and Respect,

Derek Phelka

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Has this post inspired you to share your hero's story? Submit your story to featured as ConnectLife's next donor highlighted as Hero of the Month at https://www.connectlife.org/honor-your-hero